Hello readers. This piece of writing will deal with the problem
of love. And I focus primarily on the love as defined in our
society.
Since ancient times, people have tried to find the true
meaning of love. And throughout the timeline, its definition
changed drastically. Today, it has become a very confused
topic. Youngsters are greatly trapped in the wrong notion of
Love. So, let us discuss this topic in detail.
We know that, according to science, love is signalled by the
release of some hormones. And this is where the confusion
starts. It is because of the fact that those hormones are
also released while at affection. So, what is the true way of
knowing? In ancient times, there was a ritual that, the male
would steal a female, who he wanted to marry. If we look
closely, we are still at the same things, only our means have
changed. Now, people try to steal the girls through more
materialistic approaches. And this remains a secret, because
there is no stage to mark the success of the process, unlike
before, where the girl could be yours, if you could steal her
successfully.
As we observe, these days people are more confused than
before, and the simple reason is that they now get female
proximity much earlier than before. Earlier, females were not
even allowed to study, and men could only get female
presence, once they returned from their studies. But soon
after that, they would get married, and this led to the
scenario that love could not prevail much. When girls started
studying and working with men, then they got the chance to
know girls more, and only then the question of love arrived.
But, since now that we are here, we have to deal with this.
We see that kids these days feel that they are in love that
is going to last for eternity. How does this work? Since, we
are also animals, it all starts with animal needs and wants.
Like all other animals, humans are also attracted to the
opposite sex physically. Dogs are allowed more than one mate
in their lifetime, but not humans, because of our conscience.
So, this leads us to think greater into this topic, because of
our difference from animals.
We as humans, are taught from beginning that we have to live
the life with one partner. It is due to this reason, that every
person we think we are in love seems to stay eternally. If
only, it was general to choose more than one mate in the
lifetime, the concept of eternal love would diminise. So, if
physical attraction is not love, what is Love?
We have three major competitors to the concept of love.
They are, habit, dependency and superiority. We discuss
these topics in detail:
Humans are rarely compatible with other humans.
They don't really go into sync with others. But, they don't
always get to choose. Now, with choice or without choice,
when they live long enough with someone, they adapt to each
other. Maybe not on all parameters, but on most of them.
This is the state, where they are habitated to be with
someone. Now, to change the person, it would be more
difficult than earlier, because they already have adapted to
someone else. People don't want to enter this painstaking
process, just to spare pain upon themselves, and confuse
habit with love. We can observe that people even tend to
forgive grave mistakes of the people who they are habitaed
with. So, at least habit cannot be considered love.
Since the time we are born, we are
dependent on others, namely, our parents. As we go on in
life, we come across several more people who add light to our
lives, and slowly, without us even realising, we become
dependent on them to brighten up our lives. And we feel that
our life will be completely dark without them. This gives us a
feeling that we cannot live without them. The longer we live
with those people, the more we become dependent on them,
and this results in the degradation of our personality, and
eventually, we give them so much importance, that they have
become a life support system of our character. And the
thought of them leaving feels like taking off our limbs. So,
someone, who started as a means of happiness, now becomes
someone who controls our life. And in this way we confuse
dependency with love. So, we can at least understand that
now. We also know now, that one aspect of love is not being
dependent on one another so as to lose one's personality.
This is the point that we need to
understand foremost. It is this that differentiates between
love and affection. When we try to understand how our
children function, we get the answer to this question. Let us
consider that. Nowadays, children generally seek only one
thing and that is attention. And it is this which later turns
into desire. What actually happens is that, children only
desire, what they see with others. This is how our society
works. A kid wants to get a football because he saw someone
else possessing a football. Another kid desires a barbie
because she saw it with her friend. People have a tendency to
always become equal to others who are superior to them, and
when they become equals, then they try to be superior. Boys
want to buy a good bike, one that none of his friend possess.
And a girl wants to wear the best dress to the party. And if
we look closely, all of us are already drowned in this system.
We become so much used to this process, that it gets
engraved in our systems, and by the time we are 16,
everything we see, and want to have is only because of the
fact that we want to be superior to others in our proximity. I
don't accuse you of materialising others. This process is
completely involuntary and we are only trapped in the system.
This way, we confuse superiority with love.
Now, you may be wondering that I am just neglecting all the
aspects, but we want to know, what really is love? And when
can we know that we are in one. Let us discuss that.
As you know, I consider soul to be the wave on the string of
our life, I feel that two souls are in love, when they are in
phase with each other. That would sound confusing. What I
am trying to say is that, two people can only love each other,
if there is an energy flow between them. You can only fall in
love with the person, who completes you. The thing is that, I
am not considering you to be incomplete, you are complete
without each other, but when two people complete each
other, it means that they believe the other can rectify them.
One thing that I feel the test of true love to be is that,
when two people love each other, they can live happily without
each other and they are not even sad that the other is with
someone else, its just that their happiness gives you peace,
because the other person is just your part. When you feel
that you two are not different, then you can comfortably say
that you are not in love.
I give an example. Consider your first cycle. You would most
probably not ride it anymore, but when you see that cycle
being ridden by someone else, and when you see the happiness
of the person riding your cycle, the happiness that you get, is
called love. You just understand that no matter whoever rides
that cycle, that cycle will always be yours. Similarly, you
probably left your school years back, and when you see
there, you see new students siting on the desk on which you
used to sit. Even though today someone else sits on that
desk, you know that it is your desk, and no one can take that
away from you. That is love.
Similarly, if you have a connection with some other person, it
wouldn't matter whether he/she is with someone else, it
wouldn't bother you. But, when you see that person, the
happiness that you feel is called love.
To find true love is difficult, but believe me, when you find
your missing piece, you will become complete, and the peace
that you feel will then be called LOVE.